My Monogrammed Bag of Worry

The more I learn about the Lord, the more I wonder how anyone lives without him. I'm not sure I could do it. So here's the nugget of truth I'm claiming today...

"Casting the WHOLE of your care, ALL your anxieties, ALL your worries, ALL your concerns, once and for all on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully." 1 Peter 5:7

I am a visual person, meaning, I have to see it to understand it. My visual as I read this verse about five times this morning is this...

I get up in the morning, get dressed, and grab my super cute teal and coral monogrammed backpack that I've stuffed with worry and anxiety. It might be nasty on the inside, but at least my bag's cute, right? I'm walking along life's road and I meet with the Lord. I unzip my bag and let all of the worries and cares escape, ALL of them. I don't store one here or there in a special secret compartment (or maybe I do sometimes, but that's not what I'm called to do according to 1 Peter). Jesus seriously says to leave them ALL, and my favorite part of that verse - "once and for all." Just to be sure I don't take any back with me, I leave the cute bag too.

Can you imagine that kind of care? Literally unloading what burdens you and giving it to someone else to carry? Think about hiking and being able to unload your gear onto someone else, or handing someone else your children, purse and diaper bag. It's freeing! And so very humbling that someone is willing to do this for us all. It's real though, folks. We don't have to just imagine it. We can claim it; we can rely upon the Lord because he does "care for [us] affectionately and ... watchfully."

I'm runnin'

Recently I've experienced some real, grip-you-by-the-throat, type fear about going to Bangladesh next February. The devil, that sly guy, knows how to get to me by making me ponder my children crying for me while I'm gone, or by making me think I'm somehow being selfish by expecting my husband to keep everything running without me. He knows just where to punch. And I know just who to call in for backup. Tonight the Lord used something small, yet personal and impactful to remind me He is always near and in control. Interestingly, this reminder came through my youngest son.

Just this week Salinger started proclaiming, "I runnin', I runnin'" when he's let loose to run full speed outside. It's wreckless abandon in the cutest form. He's so free and happy and wants the world to know that he's running.

Tonight at church, we sang several worship songs, and I did my normal sing along, tap one foot, and bounce, because I do love worship. So I'm happily singing along, when this chorus happens:

Oh, I'm running to Your arms,
I'm running to Your arms
The riches of Your love
Will always be enough
Nothing compares to Your embrace
Light of the world forever reign

I was immediately reminded of my sweet Salinger's "I'm running" proclamation, and peace like no other washed over me. I imagine that there will be more times when I feel afraid about Bangladesh and many other things in life. By the way, the verse before that chorus says "You are peace. You are peace when my fear is crippling." What I know is that the Lord Jesus will never, ever, not one time leave me or lead me down the wrong path. That is the ultimate comfort and the "get ye behind me Satan" that I've needed.

So like my toddler, I exclaim, "I'm runnin'! I'm runnin'!"

 

Easy like Sunday Morning

This morning all around our town, our county, our state, our country, our world, people are gathering. They are gathering in big beautiful church buildings, small rural churches, homes, schools, movie theaters, inside and outside to worship You. I pray the collective voices and measures of our hearts are pleasing to you, Lord. What a beautiful day when we consider Sunday morning from your perspective. It's not just my pew, my congregation, it's Christians everywhere taking time to worship and honor You. I wonder if Monday morning, Tuesday morning, Wednesday -- if they sound just as loud and sweet as Sunday morning. How I hope they do. How I hope that we worship, we honor, we love, we serve you, Lord. Every day.

I am a mother

I am a mother.

I am the push, push
I am awake, asleep, awake
I am a voice in the night
I am a mother.
I am a manicurist, pedicurist
I am Ken, kin
I am the clothes, the clothes, the clothes
The swish of my skirt
The flow of my hair
I am a mother.
I am inspired, uninspired, tired, awake
I am a smile
I am No
I am the quiet, the chaos
I am a mother.
I am professional
I am the drive
I am the click, tick, tock
I am away
Always here
In Joy. I am a mother.

Run fast for your mother; Run fast for your father

Since I was a child, I've always admired anyone who could run with speed or endurance. It's always seems like a super human power to me. And I've always wanted to "be a runner." Well, at the age of 30, I decided to actually give it a go. I sort of ran out of excuses...had the money to get the shoes I needed, a work at home job (flexibilty!), and 3 iPods to choose from! In high school I could run a pretty quick mile and not feel too badly, so I thought it wouldn't be too difficult. I learned quickly that a 30 year old body is very different from an 18 year old body. I've had a baby by c-section and laparoscopy in addition to being 12 years older and almost 20 lbs heavier.

My new journey (I say new b/c I've tried running consistently several times) in April of this year. When I began, I ran intervals...tried the Couch to 5k, which didn't work too well for me. Then at the end of April, I had a laparoscopy, and that put me on the couch for more than 2 weeks. I started walking after about 2 weeks and the first time I broke out in a jog, I felt something in my abdomen pull that didn't feel normal, so it took me a while to get back to just running/walking intervals.

My first 5k (Jason Hicks Memorial 5k) was at the end of May. While I had started running some before, it had only been a few weeks and I again had a strange pain the day of the race, so I walked it. My friend, Hope Bell, walked it with me and still probably thinks that I could have run it if I had wanted to, but really, I couldn't. My dr said to listen to my body and that day my body said, "running will be dangerous today."

At the first of June, I started running intervals again and have run/walked every week for 3-4 days except one week, where, frankly, I was just lazy. My step dad, Haskell Manly, and I are doing a 5k this Saturday and I'm so excited. I can tell my body has responded to me pushing it. And Haskell has given me great advice on how to run with endurance. He asked me, "Why do you stop?" and that was probably the best thing anyone could have said to me. I was stopping because that's what Couch to 5k said; I was stopping because I was giving into my body's cues telling me I was too tired or too weak. Haskell has built up to running 5 miles a day, which is awesome. I'm not there yet. I'm still doing 3 miles and still have to walk about .5 - .75 miles in the middle of the run.

Tonight though, I ran the best I could, and finished 3 miles (I know...need to get that last tenth in there for the 5k) in 34 minutes. I know to most runners, that may be turtle speed, but to me, it was a huge accomplishment. When I started in April, it took me almost an hour to run/walk 3 miles. I felt exhilirated and like I would vomit at the same time.

It may take me signing up for a 5k every month or so to keep motivated, but something tells me, running may just "stick" this time.

Top Ten Reasons I Love Working From Home

Since Kevin and Griffin have been home this summer, I've been thinking about why I love working from home. Here's my top ten list:

10. I can sing as loudly as I want...usually. Kevin and Griffin do not appreciate my singing so much.
  9. I control the temperature, except when Kevin makes it really cold.
  8. I can wear whatever I want as long as I don't get little hints like, "Baby have you showered today?"
  7. I can watch TV on my couch on my lunch break. It's usually Avatar, but hey...
  6. I can take a conference call any space Kevin and Griffin are not using.
  5. I get home cooked meals daily because somebody has to feed Kevin and Griffin.       
  4. I am only interupted when Griffin wants to show me a new trick.
  3. I get to do all the laundry and dishes.
  2. I get to wake up a few hours before everyone else in my house.
And, my number 1 reason:
      Every day I get to see two of my favorite people all day long.

What a blessing in our very busy, hectic, overly scheduled world.

The Cheap vs The Expensive

I love a good deal and (ask anyone who knows me) historically have always sought out deals for everything. A great value empowers me. Some may call me cheap. I don't like that term, sounds trashy. I, of course, prefer frugal. But there is something I'm learning. There are some things worth their higher price tags. I don't believe you always get what you pay for as I think somethings are way overpriced and others really are a good value.

My best example of this is running/walking shoes. I've owned several pair of tennis shoes -- one pair I just donated to charity, and they were 15 years old! And I remember what I payed for them, $35, and the town where I purchased them, Spartanburg (on Highway 29). I have this strange ability to remember the approximate costs of almost all of my purchases (except groceries) and their relative stores. Anyway, I also bought another pair of "fashion" New Balances several years ago at Kohls at Myrtle Beach while Kevin and I were away for the weekend. We had been shopping all day and my feet were killing me, so I bought these very cute gray and white NB athletic shoes. They were $49.99, quite a bit in my frugal mind. Last year I found a pair of Nike's in my size at a consignment sale for $5, so obviously, I bought those too.

Then...

then...

Two weeks ago I was properly fitted for running shoes and holy cow!! They are amazing...in comfort and the ability to make my feet feel awesome. What they are not is cute, but I don't even care AND they were $100! I assumed I would eventually feel guilty for this purchase. Two weeks have passed and there's not an ounce of guilt. Just a sense of wonder...wondering what I've missed out on by buying the cheap stuff. My core value remains steadfast. It is my definition of value that is evolving. A simple t-shirt for $8 at Target, well, that's cheap and a good value. Brooks running shoes that feel like they were made for my feet -- expensive, and still a good value. My past purchasing habits indicate that I thought value = cheap.

If there is anyone out there actually reading this, I would love to hear other items that may be pricey but worth it...specifically interested in sunglasses, home decor, televisions, furniture, and of course clothes!